Myself again.

Guess what? I feel just like myself again! I woke up Tuesday morning feeling great. I had a good day and was more positive than I have been in a long time. I rejoined weight watchers (love that they have a plan for nursing mothers!!) went to school went to work.. It was just a normal day but it was the most normal I have felt in a while. While laying in bed that night.. I thought to myself,"why do I need this medication, I feel totally normal.." and then it hit me.. They had warned me of this..that I would hit a time when I would think I was doing just fine so to question my medication use. And that's when I realized it is working. Fixing these chemicals in my brain to make me less crazy and more balanced :) then the next night..(miss hazel has been quite the sleeper) so I woke up at 4 am in pain of engorgement... She had last eaten at 9 before she fell asleep.. Anyways I jumped up and checked on her and she was sound asleep so I just went and pumped. After I pumped I had a slight moment of panick. What if she wakes up right now, now that I have just pumped.. And I thought to myself- well if that happens ill deal with it then.. When before I would be worried and panicky and would lose sleep over it but things have seemed to be a bit calmer and I have been much less anxious -I am loving it. And now I joke with Jason if only there was a pill to make me want to clean. Haha!! I am grateful for all the love and support I have felt and received during this difficult time in my life. I am surrounded by so many wonderful people and I am in love with my hazey and my role as her mommy!!


Anonymous said...

Glad to hear!! Makes me happy! XOXO

Erin and Zach said...

HORRAYYYY!! I am so happy happy happy. "Normal" is such a wonderful feeling. I am so proud of you. I LOVE YOU!

Mama Blogger said...

Glad to hear it! I had that same moment when I realized my Zoloft was working. It's amazing to feel human again.