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3.31.2009

Jason's essay

Jason asked me to proof read this essay for his family and marriage class and couldn't even get through it without bawling.. my jason is so sweet this is what he had to say aboug relationships:

Relationships
I thought for a long time about the relationships that I can improve. My first reaction was that I have been married for about four months now, my marriage is good. I pondered for awhile longer and came to realize that I have only been married for four months; we may not be having any struggles but I can always work on the relationship that I have with my wife. Besides, it is the most important relationship that a person can have. “Neither is the man without the woman…in the Lord” (1Cor. 11:11). After I had decided to make my relationship with my wife a priority, it soon became apparent how I can improve.
One thing that I needed to improve on was taking care of Devyn’s (my wife) needs and not letting money become an issue when trying to accomplish this. When it comes to money, I like to save. I try not to spend too much. I usually save money at any opportunity. As the cold fall and winter months started rolling around, I did not want to turn on the heater because I wanted to save money. I’m the type of person that when it gets cold in the house, I can put on another layer of clothes and a blanket and be perfectly fine. On the other hand, even if my wife does the same, she is still cold. As I came to my senses and realized that she is the most important thing in my life, I let go of my pride and turned on the heater more and more. I have even started to turn it on before she arrives home from work so that she can come home to a warm home. This may seem like a small thing, but I hope that it will prepare me for other decisions that involve my wife and money. I hope that I can choose her over money every time.
The next attribute about me that I need to improve on is my communication. I usually assume that Devyn knows how I feel about her whether it’s through my actions or the things that I do for her. In the past, I didn’t express my feelings through words. I didn’t realize anything was wrong until my wife mentioned to me that she says “I love you” to me a lot but that I don’t always say it to her as much. Since then I try to go out of my way to make sure that I tell her that I love her each day. Another thing about Devyn is that she is self conscious about her looks. She is a very beautiful girl. That’s one of the things that drew me to her was that she is an attractive person. She’s always telling herself that she’s fat. After learning more about how people communicate in different ways, I have started telling her that she is beautiful and pretty. I make sure I tell her that every day. Apparently, I have even started telling her that in my sleep. After I have started telling my wife how I feel about her, I have come to notice that she is a much happier person.
There was another part of my communication that needed improving. Usually when I’m sad or mad, I have a tendency to get very silent and often won’t talk about the way that I am feeling. Sometimes Devyn would have a bad day at work and she would get upset with me for something that I have done (or haven’t done.) It would often feel mad about that because I wouldn’t always understand why so I would “shut her out” and not talk about. I soon realized that that wasn’t healthy for our relationship and so I let her know how I felt. We talked about it and had a very effective discussion. She didn’t realize that her actions were hurtful to me because I didn’t say anything about it. She agreed that she wouldn’t take things out on me and I agreed that I would express my feelings. We both learned the value of effective communication.
I have now been married for about eight months. Applying the principles of the gospel has helped to improve the relationship that I have with my wife. As I have incorporated principles such as charity and patience into my everyday relationship with her, I have noticed a stronger bond growing between us. I have a desire to do more for her and think less about what I want. As I use my agency to help her out because I want her to be happy, I have become happier because I love seeing her happy and making her life easier. I have seen that as we apply effective communication in our relationship, we have both become happier.

He is so sweet and i love my jason so much.. i too have a lot to work on but we are growing better together

6 comments:

Brittani said...

he is sooo sweet! good job devy

Cathy said...

You have won the prize Devyn--he is all that and more!!

Erin and Zach said...

Heellllooo! Adorable. Lucky duck you are!

Mamawags said...

awwwwwww! Devyn, he's a keeper. (not that you didn't already know that!)

Mama Blogger said...

Aww Dev, that is so sweet. I am so happy for you!

Tiffany Clay and London said...

what a sweet essay!! That is something that will be so fun to look back on when you're older :)